Well I'm in love with this song -Major Tom by Shiny Toy Guns.
Life is pretty boring. Nothing much to say. Home life is stable for now. Still dealing with teen shit but I'll grow out of it as everyone says. I'm doing okay in some classes, others I'm failing. Don't feel like I fit in at school still but I don't know, better than the beginning of the year. Feels like a dream that I'm gone, so unreal. Hmm...I'm looking forward to summer this year. I'm staying in New York thankfully.
Hope everyone is doing well.
1. I feel like I failed you, I knew once I left we would be over and there are so many things left unsaid.
2. I miss you, like a lot, I should talk to you more to check up on you but I don't, I always wait for people to IM me first and I know you won't.
3. It was nice seeing you again, the same girl I remembered from last year.
4. Its so strange to see who your friends are now, I would never have thought, I kinda don't like it but thats just me.
5. I never really liked you, I was always on her side not yours, I knew you both for about the same time but I knew her better. She was in my grade and I believed her story over yours.
6. I hope things work out for you and you find your happy ending.
7. I wasn't that great friends with you but I liked you, even if you were a tad violent.
8. Thank you for caring about me and telling me that it wouldn't be good for me but you would be there to help me. Surprised you two aren't friends anymore though.
9. Attention whore.
10. I've heard you changed, I wish I could see it for myself but I can't put myself through it.
I know its short, idc I have homework.
Life is just oh so confusing atm.
Its weird finding out things that I would never have expected from people
Jut posting I guess to say I'm still here.
I should do a worthwhile update one of these days. I usually do those on my other journal.
Uh holidays were okay. Didn't get any majorly exciting presents.
- Location:My room
- Mood:
numb - Music:Thanks for the Venom
---
Thanks for being there for me both of you.
Don't worry ill pull myself back together by tomorrow and be fine. I promise I won't do anything drastic
- Location:My room
- Music:Girl Anachronism
I hope your happy now
That I'm broken
Today was just awful
- Location:Math room
Its very windy outside and I can barely see the tree like 10 feet away from the house. I wonder if it will snow. It should
- Location:My room
I got 4
Yay
Thank god I got them before my parents
I hope I can get my grades up
I don't want academic probation
I did awful on my latin
I sorta knew it
But somethings I blanked on
I love my english teacher
She is giving us a vocab test for a quarterly
I always do wonderful on vocab tests
I think I failed my math quiz today
I hate mrs.cochrane
Like really
I still have to do my global
Ill do it tonight
Along with bio
And health
Overnight tomorrow
I'm sorta looking foward to it
Ill be out of the house at least for a night
I think I'm failing
And I haven't even gone past the first part of my project (there are 4)
Its 11:42
The project is due tomorrow
I'm not going to attempt to do it
I don't know why
I haven't been doing much homework lately
Its probably because I don't get math
And it should die
I don't even know why I'm making this post
I think its the lack of sleep
I haven't slept in a while
Tomorrow I will probably be so tired
I don't want to go to school
I wish I didn't have to
I feel like crap
But I will have to go anyway
There have been some good points but its monstly been bad.
I should never have promised buster bc I knew I couldn't keep the promise.
I know she is concerned about me but I just couldn't keep it
Carolyn your probably going to get mad at me
---
I feel that you know a lot about me but I know almost nothing about you. I consider you one of my best friends but I feel as if I can't talk to you
---
I think I am going to stop talking to buster. Because she doesn't help
I think I felt I had to talk to someone and I chose her but she is sorta making things worse
---
I haven't been sleeping again
I just can't
Or maybe I just don't want to
---
I really have nothing else to say
That's why I haven't been posting
I hope this week will be better
- Location:Pond
- Mood:
tired
Snow is always pretty
It makes everything seem new again
We probably won't get a snow day
But I'm hoping for one
( I've been gone for far to long )
adj., n. pur-fikt; v. per-fekt
onforming absolutely to the description or definition of an ideal type
pure or unmixed
excellent or complete beyond practical or theoretical improvement
thorough; complete; utter
absolute
per·fec·tion [per-fek-shuhn]noun
the state or quality of being or becoming perfect
the highest degree of proficiency, skill, or excellence
a quality, trait, or feature of the highest degree of excellence
a perfect embodiment or example of something
( Thanks to you I no longer believe in fairytales )
Today wasn't a good day
Oh wonderful
Today really isn't a good day
Fuck
Im dead
I can't take this anymore
And now its just worse
And report cards
I don't want to go away
Why did this have to happen?
Why?
Fuck
I'm never good at anything
I wish it wasn't a friday
I will now forever hate fridays
I'm sorta glad I didn't get my report card today
But I'm wondering what I got in global
I wish I could live with my sister and her husband
It would be nicer
I wish I went to gymnastics tonight
I should have
But I would probably be sicker
Why couldn't I have gone on the first overnight
None of this would have happened
And you
I'm at least tryingto be nice to you
Sure its forced conversation but I'm not a total bitch to you
And then you
I don't know you anymore
I used to
I wish I still did
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